Anorexia – Sexual, Social and Emotional

What Is Anorexia?

In Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous, we suffer from addiction to sex, love, relationship, fantasy, romance, and co-dependency. However, there is still another addiction some of us suffer from: anorexia.  As an eating disorder, anorexia is defined as the compulsive avoidance of food. In the area of sex and love, anorexia has a similar definition: Anorexia is the compulsive avoidance of giving or receiving social, sexual or emotional nourishment.

Some Varieties of Anorexia

Some of us may not have had sex or been in a close personal relationship in years. Or we may be in partnerships but find it difficult to be emotionally close. We may be the members in SLAA who seldom speak in meetings, disappearing the instant the meeting is over. Or we may be those who, outside meetings, are barely social. Or we may be the kind who do not have intimate friendships. We may have many acquaintances but no one we’re really close to. Or we may have close relations with only certain people, our children, say, but keep our distance from anyone else. There are many other varieties of anorectics as well. But whichever kind we are, all of us in some important way have distanced ourselves from experiencing love.

As anorectics or as people with anorectic tendencies, we may have a wide range of feelings and responses. Some of us feel overwhelmed in social settings. Others of us get high by socializing with a great many people in order to keep ourselves from intimacy with any one person. Some of us feel incapacitated by shyness in relationships with others. Others of us are in a relationship but are passionate only in one arena of it; for instance, we may be emotionally invested in the relationship but remain sexually or socially unavailable.  Just as our feelings have a wide range, so do our behaviour and patterns. For some of us,  anorexia might take the form of an overwhelming dread of making phone calls. Some of us function well in particular situations, such as the workplace where intimacy is not usually valued, but find we are distant with family or friends. Others of us have used alcohol or drugs to become emotionally withdrawn. Or we have used them to become sexually, emotionally, or socially daring, while essentially remaining out of contact with others in any meaningful way. In this way, we have used other addictions to act out anorecticly.

Anorexia may be difficult to recognise. Anorexia is a form of sex and love addiction, but it is often hard to detect. Other forms of sex and love addiction themselves can mask anorexia. Indeed, anorexia may be masked so completely that the individual doesn’t recognise that anorexia is present at all. Sexual promiscuity, for instance, may actually hide an avoidance of intimacy. Co-dependency, while producing the “appearance” of relationship, may actually hide a resistance to real relationship. Often, when SLAA members stop acting out their most obvious addiction they discover to their surprise that anorexia lies beneath their addiction after all.

There are anorectics, of course, who are aware of ways in which they are anorectic. But there are others of us who have no sense of what is lacking in our lives in matters of sex and relationship and social communion. Many of us don’t even know what is possible. Some of us, for instance, know we can give love, but have no idea that love might be given to us. Others of us know only what it is to respond to other people’s needs, but don’t know what our own needs might be. Some of us have never known social joy, or honest intimacy, or emotional reciprocity. We have no sense of these things. Faced with getting our needs met, we are baffled because we can’t even name these needs.

Anorexia is not just fear of intimacy. In some way, every person alive is afraid of intimacy, for shyness, modesty, and a sense of privacy are natural human endowments. But we anorectics have made fear of intimacy into a fixed policy, automatically operating. And anorexia may operate  without a hum, with scarcely a ripple. For while there are blatantly acted-out forms of anorexia, there are also quiet, subtle forms of it.  Some anorectics may be in no other way addicted. However, beneath the surface, anorexia is a busy addiction: it consists of not doing something, and not doing something, and not doing something. Not trusting, not committing, not surrendering. Here, unlike picking up a drink or shooting up a drug, anorexia’s symptoms are obscure, uneventful. Here anorectic’s don’t act-out, they act-in, by refusing to act. For anorexia maintains itself by industriously declining to allow movement: outwardly the anorectic may appear to be quite still; inwardly the anorectic may feel quite still also. And so the anorectic pattern may remain invisible. Numbness to itself may make anorexia additionally difficult to notice as well.

Anorexia is a great disguiser. It can look like natural shyness or modesty or reserve. Even when hidden under extroversion or charm, anorexia often maintains a quiet, status quo state. It can even put on the face of spiritual purity. And neutral or vivid, it can go on for years unsuspected.  One day, however, we anorectics begin to realise that we have been living our lives for a long time without love. We observe the absence of closeness in certain areas of our lives and we observe that we are engaged in a policy of dread of others, and a strategy to keep them at bay. Whether our anorexia is social, sexual, or emotional, we awaken to the fact that we are not experiencing the giving and receiving of love that is so precious to human life.  Having become aware of this lack of love In our lives, we may then have tried to change our conduct. If we found we could not change it, we may come to understand we are addicted to it: it was conduct we repeatedly engaged in and could not stop despite its consequences.  Are you anorectic?

Here are ten of the fifty questions (from the SLAA FWS pamphlet) you might want to address. There is no score for these questions. Your own instinct will tell you to what degree they apply to you.

1. Do you go for long periods without being involved in a sexual or romantic relationship?
2. Do you go without social activities for extended periods of time?
3. Although in a relationship, have you found that, for a long while, you have not experienced: romance? sexuality? intimacy? friendship?
4. Are you alone more than you want, but feel unable to change that?
5. At work do you have trouble developing relationships, talk only when absolutely necessary, or hide out in the work?
6. Do you avoid relationships with a certain gender?
7. Do you stay aloof when in groups?
8. Are you afraid of being noticed?
9. Does being in the presence of others exhaust you, even if you like them?
10. Do you habitually panic or push people away when they start getting too close?

See SLAA HOW Beginner’s Kit for further information.
See also attachment below of pamphlet published by SLAA-FWS (Fellowship-Wide Services) in the USA.  anorexia

Current Anorexia Focus Meetings – (This Week) – Press ‘+’ to see the whole item

Date/Time Category Meeting Notes
Saturday
23 Sep 2017
10:00 am - 11:00 am
Bristol
Avon
Saturday 10.00AM SLAA Meeting Bristol – Mixed
Details and map
Cloud Room, Hamilton House, 80 Stokes Croft, Bristol, Avon, BS1 3RW
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Trains: Redland and Montpelier

Contacts: Naomi: 07963140751

Moved to this address 12 March 2016





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Saturday
23 Sep 2017
10:00 am - 11:00 am
Bristol
Avon
Saturday 10.00AM SLAA Meeting Bristol – Mixed
Details and map
Cloud Room, Hamilton House, 80 Stokes Croft, Bristol, Avon, BS1 3RW
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Trains: Redland and Montpelier

Contacts: Naomi: 07963140751

Moved to this address 12 March 2016





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Saturday
23 Sep 2017
1:00 pm - 2:00 pm
Marylebone
London
Saturday 1.00PM Hinde Street, The Parlour Room, London
Details and map
West London Mission, Hinde Street Methodist Church, 19 Thayer St , Marylebone, London, W1U 2QJ
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Anorexia Focus

Tube: Bond Street



Journey

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Saturday
23 Sep 2017
6:30 pm - 7:45 pm
St Albans
Hertfordshire
St Albans SLAA HOW Saturday 6.30pm
Details and map
Friends Meeting House, St Albans Quaker Meeting, 7 Upper Lattimore Road, St Albans, Hertfordshire , AL1 3UD
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Week 3: Anorexia Focused

Meeting starting on the 1st of April

7 mins walk from St Albans City Station





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Sunday
24 Sep 2017
3:00 pm - 4:30 pm
Manchester
Greater Manchester
Sunday 3.00PM Manchester
Details and map
Union Chapel, 4 Wellington Road, Fallowfield, Manchester, Greater Manchester, M14 6EQ
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Anorexia Focus

Train: Oxford Road

then bus to Fallowfield





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Sunday
24 Sep 2017
6:00 pm - 7:00 pm

Sunday 6.00PM UK Time Men’s Skype SLAA HOW Anorexia Meeting
Details

Sunday 6:00pm-7:00pm UK Time

SLAA HOW MEN’S ANOREXIA FOCUS SKYPE MEETING

To join us, please add the Skype name skypemensslaahowanorexia

Ask to add SkypeMensSLAAHOWAnorexia as a contact:

For further information you can also email us at slaahowanorexia@gmail.com

Website: Skype SLAA HOW Anorexia

Please look at the following link for information about joining and how to participate in a SLAA HOW Anorexia meeting:

slaahowanorexia Meeting Guide

 





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Sunday
24 Sep 2017 - 25 Sep 2017
7:00 pm - 8:00 pm
Bristol
Avon
Tyndale Baptist Church Bristol Sunday 7pm Anorexia Focus
Details and map
Upstairs Room, Tyndale Baptist Church, Tyndale Baptist Church, Whiteladies Road, Bristol, Avon, BS8 2QG
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NB new time from 5 June


Across the road from Clifton Down railway station and the Clifton Down shopping centre.




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Sunday
24 Sep 2017
7:30 pm - 9:00 pm
Stevenage
Hertfordshire
Sunday 7.30PM The Living Room, Stevenage
Details and map
The Living Room, The Living Room, 15 The Glebe, Chells Way, Stevenage, Hertfordshire, SG2 0DL
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Train: Stevenage

This is between the launderette and the revival childrens charity shop.

It is not held at the main living room centre but at a smaller room (also part of the living room) on the other side of the shops

Meeting cycles through the themes:

12 Step
Anorexia
Topic
Chair

Meeting started August 2012

 





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Sunday
24 Sep 2017
7:30 pm - 8:40 pm

Woman’s SLAA HOW Anorexia Skype Meeting- Sun 7:30PM UK Time.
Details

Skype meeting- Add womansslaahowanorexia as a contact. Ask to be added to the meeting, using the IM box up to 15 minutes before meeting starts.

Meeting format Download





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Sunday
24 Sep 2017
8:00 pm - 9:15 pm

SKYPE 8pm UK time: People of Colour in SLAA HOW meeting
Details

Skype Name: People of Colour in Fellowship (peopleofcolourslaahow)

Contact: pocinslaa@gmail.com

This is a closed 12 step meeting for members who identify as a person of colour to explore the connection between racism and their sex and love addiction behaviour. Our 4 weekly rotation is: SLAA Big Book step study, People of Colour in SLAA pamphlet, Anorexic questions, Guest Chair speaker. For more details see our websites at www.pocinslaa.wordpress.com and sites.google.com/site/peopleofcolourinslaa





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Monday
25 Sep 2017
7:30 pm - 8:30 pm
Bloomsbury
London
Monday 7.30PM SLAA Bloomsbury, London
Details and map
Bloomsbury Central Baptist Church, 235 Shaftesbury Avenue, Bloomsbury, London, WC2H 8EP
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Enter by the front entrance. Meeting “Room 1” is on the 4th floor (via lift or stairs)
Closed on Bank Holiday Mondays

Tube: Tottenham Court Road


Note: This venue is always closed on a Bank Holiday (even if, by mistake, a meeting is still listed)


Journey

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Tuesday
26 Sep 2017
6:30 pm - 7:30 pm
Bloomsbury
London
Tuesday 6.30PM Bloomsbury, London
Details and map
Bloomsbury Central Baptist Church, 235 Shaftesbury Avenue, Bloomsbury, London, WC2H 8EP
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Enter by the front entrance. Meeting room is on the 4th floor (via lift or stairs)

This meeting is in a small room with limited seating capacity, so to ensure entry, you should aim to arrive prior to the start.

We often have to turn people away as the room is over full.

New Venue From 11th September 2012

Tube: Tottenham Court Road


Note: This venue is always closed on a Bank Holiday (even if, by mistake, a meeting is still listed)


Journey

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Tuesday
26 Sep 2017
7:00 pm - 8:00 pm
Norwich
Norfolk
Norwich Beginners SLAA HOW Tuesday 7pm
Details and map
Norwich Central Baptist Church, Room 6, Norwich Central Baptist Church, Duke Street, Norwich, Norfolk, NR3 3AP
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This is a beginners focused meeting but all slaa members are welcome. We rotate between Steps 1,2,3, Chair, Anorexia and Topic.

The meeting is held in Room 6 which is upstairs. There’s parking in the street outside the church and it’s free from 6pm.





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Tuesday
26 Sep 2017
7:30 pm - 8:30 pm

Tuesday 7.30PM (UK Time) Skype SLAA HOW Anorexia
Details

Tuesday 7:30-8:30pm UK Time

It is a 4 week schedule as follows :

Week 1 – 50 questions of self-diagnosis for anorexia
Week 2 – A reading from the journal on Healthy Relationships or Anorexic focus
Week 3 – A traditions study from the 12 steps and 12 traditions book.
Week 4 – 15 minute speaker

If the month contains a 5th Tuesday it will be:
Week 5 – The examination of the 50 anorexia diagnostic questions

To join us, please add the Skype name slaahowanorexia

Ask to add SLAAHOWAnorexia as a contact:

For further information you can also email us at slaahowanorexia@gmail.com

Website: Skype SLAA HOW Anorexia

Please look at the following link for information about joining and how to participate in a slaahowanorexia meeting:

 

slaahowanorexia Meeting Guide

 





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Wednesday
27 Sep 2017
7:15 pm - 8:15 pm
Lytham St Annes
Lancashire
Lytham St Annes SLAA HOW Wednesday 7:15pm
Details and map
Richmond House Holistic Rooms, 3 Richmond Road, Lytham St Annes, Lancashire, FY8 1PE
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Meeting started 26 April 2017

From 21 June 2017 this meeting is now every two weeks

Please be aware this meeting is every other Wednesday. Check prior to attending the meeting at 07936641786.





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Wednesday
27 Sep 2017
7:30 pm - 8:45 pm
Whitechapel
London
Wednesday 7.30PM SLAA HOW Meeting Whitechapel
Details and map
The Deaf Center, 6 Key Close, Whitechapel, London, E1 4HG
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Nearest Tubes: Whitechapel, Bethnal Green

meeting started (5/11/14)

Weekly rotation of Step, Questions, Topic, Chair, Anorexia



Journey

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Wednesday
27 Sep 2017
7:30 pm - 8:30 pm
Toddington
Bedfordshire
Wednesday 7.30PM Toddington
Details and map
Toddington Methodist Church, Toddington Methodist Church, High Street, Toddington, Bedfordshire, LU5 6BY
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Train: Harlington

Use the main church hall entrance that is behind the church, then go to the right once inside the entrance, down a few steps, then it is the glass door to the left of the stairs. (The Guild Room)

From 6 April 2016, the Toddington group meets once a week at 7.30 on Wednesdays (same room and venue). All meetings now take place on Wednesdays and there is no Thursday meeting..

The first meeting of the month will have an Anorexia focus





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Thursday
28 Sep 2017
1:00 pm - 2:00 pm
Marylebone
London
Thursday 1.00PM Hinde Street, Parlour Room, London
Details and map
West London Mission, Hinde Street Methodist Church, 19 Thayer St , Marylebone, London, W1U 2QJ
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Tube: Bond Street



Journey

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Thursday
28 Sep 2017
2:00 pm - 3:00 pm

Thursday 1.00PM (GMT) SLAA HOW Anorexia Focus 1
Details
skypeslaahow@gmail.com
Please look at the following link for information about joining and how to participate in a SkypeSlaahow meeting:

 

SKYPESLAAHOW Meeting Guide

Ask to add SkypeSLAAHOW as a contact:





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Thursday
28 Sep 2017
7:30 pm - 8:30 pm

Thursday 7.30PM GMT (UK Time) Skype SLAA HOW Anorexia
Details

Thursday 7:30-8:30pm UK Time

It is a 5 week schedule as follows :

Week 1 – Guest chair speaker for 15 mins
Week 2 – A reading from the journal on Healthy Relationships
Week 3 – 50 Topics/ questions on Dating and Relationships
Week 4 – Read from Chapter 8 “Building Partnerships” in the SLAA basic text
Week 5 – A reading from the journal on Healthy Relationships

To join us, please add the Skype name slaahowanorexia

Ask to add SLAAHOWAnorexia as a contact:

For further information you can also email us at slaahowanorexia@gmail.com

Website: Skype SLAA HOW Anorexia

Please look at the following link for information about joining and how to participate in a SkypeSlaahow meeting:

slaahowanorexia Meeting Guide

 





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Thursday
28 Sep 2017
7:30 pm - 9:00 pm
Stevenage
Hertfordshire
Thursday 7.30PM Stevenage
Details and map
St Peter’s Church, The Willows, Stevenage, Hertfordshire, SG2 8AN
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Third Thursday of every month is anorexic focus

The doors close promptly at 7.30pm for the start of the meeting.

Train: Stevenage





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Thursday
28 Sep 2017
8:00 pm - 9:15 pm

Thursday 8:00PM UK Time SLAA HOW Anorexia Online Meeting (Zoom)
Details

The Thursday SLAA Trailblazers HOW Anorexia Video meeting uses a web conferencing system, so all you need is any PC, Mac, iPhone, smartphone, iPad or tablet with a camera, microphone and speakers attached and turned on to participate. Group conscious has asked that we all keep video enabled when we are on. Well before the meeting, go to http://zoom.us and create a free account. To protect your anonymity DO NOT log in via Facebook or Google, even if the site suggests this, just use your first name and first letter of your last name, e.g., “June S.”

SLAA HOW Anorexia Trailblazers meetings are held each Thursday and last for 1 hour and 15 minutes, from 20:00 until 21:15 UK Time , which in the US is typically 11.00 PACIFIC TIME and 14.00 EASTERN TIME, except for a few weeks each year, as Europe and US changes to and from daylight saving time on different dates. To determine the current time, please go to: www.worldtimebuddy.com and compare your local time to 8pm UK Time.

A few minutes before it is time for the meeting to start, go to http://zoom.us click on “join meeting,” and enter meeting ID:633-543-389 or click https://zoom.us/j/633543389

We have room for a maximum of 25 participants. If there is enough demand, we may add additional meetings in the future. Some may wish to remain after the formal meeting to chat, share on topics, answer questions, and exchange email or phone contacts where this is safe for you to do. We encourage all to stay for general fellowship time. We use e-mail, phone calls and slaasupport@yahoogroups.com between meetings to support each other, we encourage you to share your contact details only with members who are safe contacts for you.

The Seventh Tradition states we are self-supporting through our own contributions . Your contributions go towards Group Expenses such a Zoom.us, group e-literature, a group website and Fellowship World Wide Services (http://www.slaafws.org). Be mindful of your own needs first, and give only as you can.

We look forward to meeting you and working the SLAA program with you.

Getting Current (GC), Healthy Relationships Focus (HR), H.O.W. Meeting (HOW), Anorexia Focus (AF), Book Study (BS), Topic Discussion (TD), Step Study (SS), Varied Format (VF), Men and Women Welcome (MW)

Contact: slaa.trailblazers@yahoo.com





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Friday
29 Sep 2017
10:00 am - 11:00 am

Friday 9.00AM (GMT) SLAA HOW Anorexia Focus 2
Details
skypeslaahow@gmail.com
Please look at the following link for information about joining and how to participate in a SkypeSlaahow meeting:

 

SKYPESLAAHOW Meeting Guide

Ask to add SkypeSLAAHOW as a contact:





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Friday
29 Sep 2017
7:00 pm - 8:15 pm
Chelsea
London
Friday 7.00PM SLAA HOW Chelsea, London
Details and map
Chelsea Theatre, 7 World's End Place, King's Road, Chelsea, London, SW10 0DR
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Living in the Solution Meeting

meeting will include topics relating to top line behaviours, dating/relationships & anorexia



Journey

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Friday
29 Sep 2017
7:30 pm - 8:30 pm
Marylebone
London
Friday 7.30PM Hinde Street Parlour Room London
Details and map
West London Mission, Hinde Street Methodist Church, 19 Thayer St , Marylebone, London, W1U 2QJ
Get directions from Google Maps »
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Tube: Bond Street

 

New Venue : previously 7.30 Hyde Park moved to this venue on 28th Feb 14



Journey

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Friday
29 Sep 2017
8:30 pm - 9:30 pm

Friday 8.30PM (UK Time) Skype SLAA HOW Anorexia
Details

Friday 8:30-9:30pm UK Time

It is a 4 week schedule as follows :

Week 1 – 50 questions of self-diagnosis for anorexia
Week 2 – 15 minute speaker
Week 3 – 50 questions of self-diagnosis for anorexia
Week 4 – A reading from the journal on Healthy Relationships or Anorexic focus

To join us, please add the Skype name slaahowanorexia

Ask to add SLAAHOWAnorexia as a contact:

For further information you can also email us at slaahowanorexia@gmail.com

Website: Skype SLAA HOW Anorexia

Please look at the following link for information about joining and how to participate in a SLAA HOW Anorexia meeting:

slaahowanorexia Meeting Guide

 





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