Hi, I’m new here and I really need help. From an early age I had issues with depression and anitixty. By my teens I had eating disorders, tried to kill myself a few times and barely had any realtionships with people – in any sense of the term. I first starting dating in my late teens and ever since I have found myself in more and more desfuntual realtionships. Till I reached the point with my ex where I was basically dead, I was abused in every way they could think off, my body and mind had nothing left. Eventally my family interveened and I ended up in a hospital for a while. Here I was given tools for moving on and I found out about codependancy. This was all a few years ago and my fear of getting hurt again, has kept me away from romantic realtionships, although I have been able to make some friends that I can trust. I started seeing someone casually and it was fine at first, they kept taking breaks from their active realtionship and I was the person they turned to. But then it kept happening and now 18 months on they are having a baby this week and I think that I am in love with this person after they shared my bed at the weekend. The worst thing is that I think I love them beacuse I assioate love with feeling alone, broken, used and feeling like I should die because I am not worthy of anyone actually loving me. I hate this, years ago I would have just overdosed because I couldn’t see a future with my depression and now I have a plan for my life and everytime I look at it I see myself alone. I don’t know how to fix this again, I not sure if I even should.I just read back what I wrote, I know I sound like a pathetic loser……..