Hi,
I'm writing this at 2.30 in the morning. Needless to say .... I can't sleep or don't want to sleep. This happens too much. Almost as if I hate going to to bed alone. My burning obsession for tonite is WHY? 
Why do I become emotionally dependent on anyone who draws breath. I am a love addict and have no desires for porn or any of the behaviours that many people talk about related to sex. I would trade sex for a hug in a moment. I just feel as if my heart will break if I do not have attention from others - male or female. I'm not sure if this is withdrawal I am in again. Having just returned from holiday where I didn't drink, overspend or act out in any of the ways I have done previously. Rather than feel happy I feel so sad and miserable now I'm back home. As I write now I think my feelings stem from being amongst family members who never, ever have a kind word to say. While I was growing up I always felt like 'The Ugly Duckling'. I can see now that the only language my family knows is one that critical and condemns all said in the nicest possible way...... Oh your hair needs sorting, You have put on quite a lot of weight. Why don't you do this or that? I wish that they would just accept me as I am and be nice. I hate this love-less existence yet I thought I had been doing so well by abstaining from my bottom lines. I thought I was beginning to love my self yet felt compelled to delete all pictures of myself from my holiday snaps. I was sooo repulsed by my face, how I looked everything and this negativity has stayed with me over the past 24 hours. I'm writing these words in the hope that some one will identify with how I feel. The last thing I would want to do is sleep with someone as I would be sure to imagine that they would be as repulsed by me as I am. Hence my isolated anorexic lonely existence. Sleep would be a blessing! I'm sorry for my negativity but this is honestly how I feel. I know this will soon pass but right now the pain is so great. God Bless and thank you for listening