Hi Zak,I have just stepped up after completing Step 12 and feel so completely different to when I came into the fellowship 19 months ago.  I used to wish I was dead, now I have a real passion for life and the things and people in it.  I love this fellowship, it's such a life-changing, life-saving thing.  The amount of inner calm I have is amazing, never would have thought it possible that I could feel like this.  However, I have a potential date lined up for this Sunday (ironically, Valentine's Day!) and it's making me feel really fearful.  Not necessary the date or the man, but (on my sponsor's suggestion), I am pretty much leaving things up to him rather than trying to take control of or manipulating the situation, as I would have before SLAA.  I'm finding the 'not knowing' when or when or if he's going to call and it's making me quite anxious.  I actually feel quite jittery and clumsy (finding it difficult to type for example) and I really want to overeat.  It's making me wish I'd never started it (that's the anorexic in me!).  Keep talking about it and handing it over to my HP, hoping that eventually it'll pass.  Have reviewed and renewed my bottom-lines to give myself (and the chap in question) some protection around this stuff.In spite of this, I cannot quite believe that I'm not actively pursuing this guy or creating fantasy about him or how things will work out - that is a complete turnaround for me and nothing short of a miracle - thank God for SLAA!Take careRuu