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5 weeks married to a sex addict
8 July 2009 - 12:01pm — cathy
I have been married 5 weeks now and my husband has been in a clinic for 1 week.He is a sex love addict and i found out he has been having affairs with friends, colleguesand people he doesnt know. I am scared, but i love him and i want to support him through this. He will be in a clinic for another 3 weeks, i have been over once but will be going over for another visit in 2 weeks. Is there anything i can do to help understandwhat he is going through? any books any advice, would be so helpful from anyone.I feel very alone and terrified. Please help me.
I have been married 5 weeks
I have been married 5 weeks now and my husband has been in a clinic for 1 week.He is a sex love addict and i found out he has been having affairs.
Hi Cathy hope things are
Hi Cathy hope things are going ok for you. There are a few organisationsaimed at wives, husbands, partners of sex and love addicts. Just google and look for meetings, otherwise go along to a family fellowship. Youneed support to help sort yourself out. Perhaps you could go along to an open slaa or saa meeting. I wish you well.
Thank you for your help. I
Thank you for your help. I am waiting to hear back from websites just as this too find local meetings, for partners. I am only getting through the day at the minute by knowing that my husband will call me this weekend. He has been set a task by his group in his clinic to not have any contact with the outside world, cold turkey if you like. But i wish they knew how hard it is on me. But i miss him desperatly, and wake up every morning knowing that i am 1 day closer to speaking to him and hearing his voice. I feel very alone, as no one understands how much i love him and that i want to support him. So the sooner i find a meeting near me the better. Thank you all for your help. Cathy
Hi again, I thoght i had
Hi again, I thoght i had better mention that you should look at other related posts on this forum which give great advice regarding attending meetings to get support for living with an addict.Spender
When i look for meetings on
When i look for meetings on this website nothing seems to come in my area.I want my marriage to work but i am so scared, my husband is going to relapse and i amthrough so much pain. and missing him so desperatly while he is in this clinic for another 3 weeksCan you help with that, with any advice, all is extremely welcome. Cathy
Hi Cathy,You're definantly
Hi Cathy,You're definantly in the right place here, i strongly suggest you order/buy from a meeting a copy of the SLAA BASIC TEXT.It gives a great insight into this situation and has viewpoints written beautifully from both the addict and the partner/wife of an addict in recovery.In addition to this, call the main helpline or attend a local meeting, here you can purchase more literature and listen first hand to other recovery stories which will help with the feeling of isolation. God bless youSpender
Hi Cathy,Some other
Hi Cathy,Some other thoughts.SLAA meetings for relatives are few and far between. Alot of spouses attend Alanon meetings (for those married to alcoholics). They are much more readily available and often have similar underlying issues as well.Keep at it, let your husband know you are trying to understand/support him. Thats what keeps me going and honest to my wife. She is supportive of my struggles and the honesty keeps me sober (after all who wants to tell a spouse that they are using ). I can be honest with her as I know she will support me through it.
Thank you very much for the
Thank you very much for the kind words Prof. My husband is on his way home from 4 weeks in a clinic. I am feeling very nervous. I am here to support him and want to understand but i am having difficulty understanding as i know no one else in this situation.As much as my family dont understand and think i am mad trying to make a go of this marriage i respect thier feelings, but when i talk to them they think i am in denyal about what has happened. And i sometimes feel like not talking to them. But i am just really lonely and know there are other family and wives going through this sort of pain and i want to talk to them. So thank you so much for the help i will try to find Alanon meetings near me.
It isn't surprising you
It isn't surprising you cannot understand. I am the addicted person and it is evenconfusing for me. Good that your husband is coming home. Take it easy and be gentlewith yourself. For me I find handing my will and my life over to my Higher Power whoI choose to call God every day, sometimes 10 times a day really helps. I remind myselfI didn't cause it, I cannot control it and I cannot cure it. Only by being involved in slaa and reaching out to God on a daily basis is preventing me from being out there again. My partner is very supportive but to be honest I think he doesn't really know what to think about it either. He has a good faith and he takes life a day at a time. I believe this is how he deals with my addiction. Remember your not alone and there is hope. Fergus