whoa... the cringing in my upper shoulder area is SO intense right now. i realize how i am such a black and white person when i am in my addiction.  a week ago today, i had a first date with a guy i met online.  he pursued me all week and we saw one another three times total in 7 DAYS... sounds fast right? well it was and i knew it, and i loved the constant attention and sweet messages he sent, pics to make me smile and the fact that he wasnt "afraid" to tell me he liked me. so when i received a reply text yesterday that read "i cant see you tonight. im sorry", i was blown away.  i felt immediately upset, sick almost. i see this reaction as part of the love addiction because i felt so fuckin rejected so quickly.  and i wrote him asking what happened and have gotten NO contact from him. of course my mind is spinning. i have created several stories in my head. 1. he facebook stalked me and saw that i had other guys on there that were writing on my wall and maybe he got jealous 2. he ditched me for another girl or 3. he got freaked out by how fast things were moving (except he was the one making all the effort so that seems an odd explanation) none of my possible stories include an emergency or some other "reasonable" explanation.  i realize that my need for answers goes right to the character defect of wanting to control and the fact that i deleted his number already and that i have been moving so quickly with him is a testament to my impatience. and i have only known this guy for a week... i dont even KNOW him !!! whats that characteristic, we become easily attached to others without really knowing them? i have told myself that i need to go into withdrawl from this situation and cut contact, not write him telling him how i feel rejected and how i really liked him and im confused.  i need to lay off of the online dating for a while and facebook too, i become obsessed looking on those sites.  this will be my place to fuck around at work or in class when i get bored. well i prob should be working/listening but nobody is perfect right?