Hi

Well done on keeping 10 weeks of clean time. The problem with addiction is that under our own steam/ willpower, we are not able to permanently change or stop. We rely on others (which is what we call "Fellowship" to bring about permanent change) Have you tried online meetings or telephone meetings? You can also start up your own meeting if you find one other person in your area.
Best of luck

Hi interesting thread and topic. I think there might be some confusion betweenhitting your "rock bottom". Which is the place where addicted people get to when their addiction leads them to the point of despair. However I am also trying to create a healthy "bottom line".  I think this for me means the sexual and emotionalbehaviour I personally consider acceptable. I think that for me the idea of a "bottom line" will be an ever changing one. At the moment my bottom lines are no sex/emotionalintrigue/flirting outside my relationship. No fantasising or allowing myself to get "drawn intomy fantasy world". As an example yesterday there was a really attractive guy ona bus I was travelling in. Normally I would have spent the time on the bus trying to engage with him, get him to notice me, checking him out and generally fantasisingabout sexual possibilties. When I saw him naturally I noticed him however I choose instead to focus only on his face and think of him as a "child of a higher power/God". It worked for me this time. I was able to enjoy his looks but did not get drawn in. I suppose it is a bit like enjoying a sunset without wanting to personally own it for myself. Another of my bottom lines was around masturbation. I don't neccesarily think itis negative in itself but how I used it to isolate, block my feelings and not be thereemotionally or indeed sexually for my partner. I think for me my bottom line aroundthis is that I am not going to use it as a suppressant any longer and will try to link itto a positive experience instead. These are just some of my thoughts. If you can tryto get to a meeting I have found them challenging, sometime exasperating, humbling hope giving but above all essential if I am going to get better. If there is no SLAA meetingnear you then by all means search out other fellowships related to relationships and co-dependancy. You may also meet like minded people there to start a meeting with you. Remember you only have to be willing to change one day at a time. Ask your Higher Powerfor help with this.