Hi Tina x,

Indeed, you're right about taking a big step. Not only have you realised that this compulsion for sexual gratification rules your life, but you've begun to actively seek help to find ways to change this.

First of all, it's a good sign that you appreciate that you need to have greater control over your behaviour, because you are aware that it hurts people. Part of you recognises that, despite the excitement of different partners, inside, the consequences make you unhappy and confused.

Noticing this at such a young age is a great advantage, because you don't have to spend another 10 or 20 years making the same mistakes, you can begin to change now. And it seems that you already have made a start, because here you are admitting that you can't live the rest of your life this way.

The best way forward is to attend meetings. This website shows lists for regions in the UK and London. There's even a young persons' meeting in London every Thursday, which is well worth attending, if at all possible. The significance of meetings is that by listening to the experiences of others (you don't have to speak if you don't want to) you feel less alone with your difficulties and supported by the knowledge that others are learning to deal with the same issues.

The topics discussed in meetings also present ways to tackle the issues of sexual compulsivity, romantic intrigue and fantasising, all of which can be extremely distracting, preventing us from enjoying other areas of life.

I hope there are convenient meetings that you can attend. The fellowship has a transformative effect on one's mood, which is a tonic in itself. It is this combined strength that we gain from joining together in our struggle that keeps us coming back because, like you, we realise that we don't want to lead our lives like we have in the past and, in fellowship, we can learn to live a more fulfilling life, one day at a time.

I hope this helps.

Narcissus

If you always do what you've always done, you always get what you've always got.